For six weeks now, I've been working on this article about being overwhelmed in everyday life.
In those six weeks, however, I didn't write much most of the time because my life is so intense right now and I didn't have a head for writing.
Some days I sat at home like a pile of misery, couldn't get anything done and felt totally overwhelmed with everything.
As you may remember, I took a big risk some time ago and put myself under pressure.
I don't want to complain, after all, I made a conscious decision to go this way and would do it again. Nevertheless, the overwhelm came at the worst possible time.
This is often the case, because we are often overwhelmed in situations where we actually need a clear head.
Why this is so and how you can best deal with overwhelm in everyday life, you will learn in this article.
In this article, you'll learn:
- What is overwhelm
- How overwhelm arises
- What are the effects of excessive demands on the body and brain
- Why it is so important to be able to deal well with overwhelm in everyday life
- 11 tips you can use immediately when you're feeling overwhelmed
What is excessive demands and how does excessive demands arise in everyday life?
We feel overwhelmed when we are faced with challenges and we don't know how to master these challenges.
This challenge can be, for example:
- A professional situation (self-employment is not going as hoped)
- A family situation (a loved one dies suddenly)
- Financial pressure
- A special activity:
For example, a coaching client of mine felt overwhelmed with the creation of his website. Due to the many possibilities, he didn't know what to do next.
In the last few weeks, I have noticed in myself that the worst days were those when I had no hope and thus felt completely helpless.
Furthermore, it can be overwhelming in everyday life when many different things rain down on us at once or when there are painful setbacks.
Overwhelm can occur in short-term episodes, but it is also possible to feel permanently overwhelmed in your life.
Symptoms of being overwhelmed are:
- No longer being able to think clearly
- Inner restlessness
- Dissatisfaction
- Desperation
- Irritability
- Self-doubt
- Pessimism
When we are overwhelmed by a situation or our everyday life, we often don't know what to do next.
Where does that come from?
The effects of overwhelm on your body and brain
When we feel overwhelmed, our stress level increases.
Excessive stress puts our bodies in flight-or-fight mode: in this mode, we find it difficult to think clearly.
This is because the energy is extracted from the parts of the brain responsible for logical thinking. Instead, the energy is made available to the parts of the brain responsible for reflexes and instincts.
In the past, this had its raison d'être: If a saber-toothed tiger runs towards you at full speed, every second can make the difference between life and death.
For this reason, the parts of the brain that control reflexes and instincts are supplied with as much energy as possible. In addition, in dangerous situations, it can be more of a hindrance to think logically about what to do next – this only costs valuable time.
Even though it is almost no longer a matter of life or death these days, our body still reacts in a similar way to stress. But this is not exactly beneficial:
Especially when we are facing major challenges, we need our logical thinking more than ever.
Take, for example, the student who wants to study for his third attempt: In addition to the amount of material in a subject that is probably already difficult for him, there is now the pressure to pass the exam at all costs.
In such a situation, many students find it difficult to concentrate on the important things and feel overwhelmed accordingly.
If we feel overwhelmed, our logical thinking lets us down exactly when we need it most.
Overwhelm in everyday life: 11 tips you can apply immediately
1. Gain awareness of the overwhelm
How do you notice that you feel overwhelmed?
In which situations does the overwhelm occur?
I recommend that you question these situations, because there are often some connections as to why the overwhelm occurs.
As soon as you have found out the reasons for the overwhelm, you can think about and apply strategies against it, so that the overload ideally does not come up in the first place.
Because it is often possible to prevent it from getting that far through the appropriate strategy:
Have you perhaps postponed studying for an exam until the last moment, are now under time pressure and don't know how to pass the exam?
In such a case, you could start studying earlier next time so that you don't get pressed for time in the first place. You can find out how to do this in this article: Overcoming procrastination
To better recognize connections, it can be helpful to meditate regularly. In addition, regular meditation will probably make you more likely to notice as soon as overwhelm occurs, so that you can take the necessary steps against it.
The next example shows this quite well:
2. Eat something
As a rule, I don't eat anything early in the morning and don't eat my first meal until around lunchtime. Due to various circumstances, my "breakfast" was postponed further and further back on two consecutive days.
Since my life is very intense at the moment, I suddenly felt totally overwhelmed with everything on both days.
I asked myself what the commonality was on these two days and found out quite quickly that the lack of food intake had contributed a large part to my overwhelm. Because after the meal I could think reasonably clearly again.
This is because, among other things, our self-discipline is responsible for controlling our emotions so that we are not completely carried away by our feelings.
Willpower and our logical thinking are controlled in a part of the brain that requires a lot of energy. We make this energy available to the body through our food.
If the brain does not have enough energy available (= you have not eaten for a long period of time), the brain switches to energy-saving mode. Then the processes that are not necessary for survival are scaled back, so that there is still enough energy available for the processes necessary for survival.
Unfortunately, self-discipline is not one of the processes necessary for survival.
For this reason, the tip to you: If you are overwhelmed, ask yourself when you last ate something. If this was a few hours ago, then eat something.
Since our brain can use carbohydrates the fastest, I recommend that you consume carbohydrates. However, make sure to eat carbohydrates with a low glycemic index (oatmeal, whole grains, fruits, legumes, ...)
Our self-discipline has a much bigger impact on our lives than you might think. If you want to improve your self-discipline, I recommend my free 7-day e-mail course for more self-discipline:
3. Get a good night's sleep
How well do you sleep during the phases when you feel overwhelmed?
Let me guess: Not very good or too little.
Sleep also has a huge impact on our self-discipline, as our brains recover while we sleep.
If we suffer from a lack of sleep, our brain is not able to properly absorb the energy made available to it by food.
The consequence of this is a lack of energy, which forces our brain to throttle the processes that are not necessary for survival, causing our self-discipline and logical thinking to no longer function properly.
This makes us more susceptible to being carried away by our emotions – such as being overwhelmed.
For this reason, I recommend that you make sure that you get enough sleep every night. This can help to prevent overwhelm from occurring in the first place.
If you have the opportunity, it's a good idea to leave the situation (see next tip) and take a little power nap as soon as you feel overwhelmed. You'll feel better afterwards.
In this article, my friend and fellow blogger Clemens shows you how you can learn a power nap.
4. Get out of the situation
If you feel totally overwhelmed with everything, I recommend that you leave the situation for the time being to catch yourself again.
There's no point in forcing yourself to do something when it's not going well and you don't know what to do next.
Gaining distance from a certain situation can help us to think clearly again. In addition, we often come up with new ideas when we have distance from a situation.
If you have the opportunity, I recommend that you also leave the situation spatially. For example, you can:
- Take a walk in nature
- Stroll through the city
- Go to the sauna
- Lie down for a moment
In addition, a short vacation can work wonders if you feel permanently overwhelmed in your everyday life.
Of course, there are other options. Find out what works for you and how you can best relax, which brings us to the next point:
5. Relax on a physical level
Stress causes the muscles in your body to tense. This allowed you to act faster in the past, such as fleeing from the saber-toothed tiger.
But bad feelings are also always accompanied by physical tension.
If you are completely relaxed, you can't feel bad!
If you feel overwhelmed, take five deep breaths into your stomach and feel into your body: Where do you feel tense right now? Try to consciously relax these areas.
To increase your body awareness, I recommend that you listen to and perform guided progressive muscle relaxations for a few weeks. You can often even find them free of charge on the Internet (e.g. here).
If you increase your body awareness, you will always notice situations in your everyday life in which your body is tense. This allows you to consciously relax afterwards.
This will help you not only when you feel overwhelmed, but also when you want to confront your fears.
Relaxation also offers another advantage: your creativity will flow better.
Unfortunately, ideas and creativity cannot be forced. Creativity needs relaxation so that it can flow.
My best ideas always come to me when I'm totally relaxed. For example, I came up with the idea for this website during a visit to the sauna.
6. Do something good for yourself
Maybe you're thinking to yourself: "I have to do XY first before I can treat myself to anything."
But nothing is further from reality...
If you are currently in a situation that overwhelms you, do something good for yourself - at least once a day.
What can you treat yourself to today?
It doesn't necessarily have to be something material. For example, you can treat yourself to:
- 15 minutes of time just for you
- To take a walk
- Cook a good meal and enjoy it afterwards
- Take a bath
No matter what situation you are currently in, make sure to treat yourself to at least one thing every day.
7. Talk well to yourself
You talk to yourself all the time.
How does this dialogue work in you?
Does the voice in your head give you courage?
Or does this voice rather put you down?
In the last few weeks, I've noticed that I've been incredibly myself.
Some days my biggest enemy was myself and I completely lost myself in my strong self-doubt and destructive internal dialogue.
I noticed all this consciously, but still there was little I could do about it.
I don't know it (anymore) from myself that this negative voice is so strong and that I am so helplessly at its mercy.
I certainly don't need to tell you that such an internal dialogue is not exactly beneficial...
But what is the best way to deal with the negative inner voice?
The first step is to make sure you notice that negative voice in the first place. Because only when you notice something can you change it at all.
Then accept that this voice is there. What you fight will only get stronger.
Think of the voice as an old complainer and welcome him as soon as he reappears. As a result, the voice loses much of its power and at some point you will be able to change it.
For me, the turning point was reached when I lay in bed at night, couldn't sleep and once again put myself down:
- "You're so incapable!"
- "You will never become anything!"
- "You've failed again, I've always known it!"
Suddenly I had to think of an unusual coaching tip that I had casually overheard a few years ago:
"Go to a dominatrix. The dominatrix inflicts on you on a physical level the pain that you inflict on yourself all the time on a mental level."
Just imagining it was enough to understand what I was doing to myself all the time.
At that moment, I made the decision to treat myself more lovingly in the future. Since then, I have the feeling that I can deal with the overwhelm in everyday life much better.
In general, your thoughts have a much greater impact on your life and well-being than you might imagine now.
Your thoughts are pure creative potential, with which you create your reality at every point in your life.
If you want to deepen this topic (which I recommend you do), I recommend my eBook "The Power of Thoughts". You can get it for free here:
8. Move your body
A few months ago, I attended my first American seminar.
To exaggerate, the seminar went in such a way that we constantly handed out high fives and danced.
Due to the high energy and the lot of exercise, it is not possible to feel bad at all, as our body releases happiness hormones (serotonin).
However, the everyday life of many people reflects exactly the opposite: Most people are couch potatoes and go through their day with low energy – no wonder these people feel bad...
To a certain extent, you can influence how you feel.
The next time you feel down and overwhelmed, leave the situation (see tip 4) and move your body.
You don't have to run a marathon for that. For example, it's enough to choose a song you like and just dance to that song.
The only important thing is that you move your body above average.
9. Actively do something to change your situation
If you don't do anything, nothing will change.
So take responsibility for your situation and ask yourself what you can do to change your situation.
If you are facing a challenge, I recommend creating an action-based step-by-step plan. In this plan, you determine exactly the steps you want to take next.
If you have such a plan, you can always come back to this plan and hold on to it, so to speak.
Let me tell you one thing in advance: If you feel overwhelmed, working through this plan will probably take more time than you would like.
I'm also going much slower than I'm used to and know from myself.
But since you can't change anything about the situation anyway, I recommend that you accept this.
It is crucial that you move towards your goals. No matter how slow you go, as long as you keep moving in the direction of your goals, you'll eventually reach your goals.
It is of great importance that you focus on your most important tasks:
10. Focus on your most important tasks
If I feel overwhelmed, I always catch myself jumping back and forth between my tasks.
But that doesn't really help much and I'm just wasting my time.
It is better to focus on your most important tasks.
The following question can help you:
"If I could only do one task to change my situation, what would it be?"
Then work through this task consistently.
Once this task is completed, you can ask yourself the question about your most important task again and then work through this task.
At least I managed to do my most important tasks in the last few weeks – and no, writing this article was unfortunately not one of my most important tasks...
You can always ask yourself the question of your most important task; not only when you feel overwhelmed in your everyday life.
The question will help you prioritize. This will make you more productive and get more done.
Therefore, keep asking yourself: What is your most important task at the moment and stick to it consistently until it is done.
(If you want more tips in this direction, I recommend this article: Increase productivity.)
11. Surround yourself with people who are good for you/Get help from outside
Nothing in life gives you as much stability as a great environment.
And I write it quite frankly: Without my environment, I would probably have been lost in the last few weeks.
Especially when you are feeling bad and overwhelmed, your environment can catch you.
For example, it can take a lot of pressure off you to talk openly with a friend about your situation and exchange ideas with them.
Have the courage to show yourself openly to those close to you. This gives you a great advantage:
Outsiders can assess your situation more objectively because they are not emotionally affected themselves.
This way, other people can help you plan and take the necessary steps.
If your friends are not particularly solution-oriented, a coach can also help you.
If you feel completely overwhelmed in your everyday life for a longer period of time, I recommend that you seek professional help. You don't have to be ashamed of that!
PS: If you are reading this and have supported me for the last few weeks -> Thank you for existing!
Conclusion – Overwhelm in everyday life
Overwhelm arises when we are faced with situations that we do not know how to master. But even if many different things are raining down on us at the same time, it can lead to overwhelm.
Symptoms of being overwhelmed are, for example, helplessness, pessimism or inner restlessness.
In addition, being overwhelmed in everyday life can lead to us no longer being able to think clearly. Of course, this is suboptimal, because in situations where we feel overwhelmed, we usually need our logical thinking more than ever.
There's nothing wrong with feeling overwhelmed every now and then, as long as you know how to best deal with it. For this, you can use the tips presented in this article.
However, if you feel permanently overwhelmed in your everyday life, don't be ashamed to seek professional help.
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